Why The Silence?

Good morning, afternoon or evening, wherever you may be in the world. 

So, it's been a fair few months since I last posted on this blog and I am really not happy about that. October to be precise was my last posting and it's now March. I have travelled through nine countries since then and sailed across the Caribbean Sea with my motorbike strapped to the top of the boat and am now currently in Northern Colombia. So why has it taken me this long to talk to you?

If I'm honest there's a couple of reasons. One is that I am a budget traveller and really doing this trip on a shoestring. I camp where I can and eat the local street food to keep costs down. I only have a mobile phone as I really can't afford to pay out for a tablet or laptop to blog. Especially when my riding boots have holes bigger than the one in the Ozone layer, my bike needs servicing and I need to try and find warmer clothing to get me through a Patagonian winter. No this is not a sob story as I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.

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Another reason for going quiet for a while was more of a darker reason. I spent two months travelling through Mexico which was just incredble. And I will write a post solely on this when I get the chance to. The experience of that country was mind blowing and I cant wait to share it all with you eventually. I then crossed into Belize to start my journey through Central America.

I spent about three months riding through Central America. Although I saw some incredible sites, something wasn't right inside me. I was getting frustrated with everything, loneliness was kicking in, and my history of anxiety was retruning to the surface, and generally I was just starting to feel really down and questioning everything. This may come as a shock to you to hear this as only my closest friends know of my past. I am not good at sharing these things with complete strangers but I am getting better. Everyone has a past and mine has definitely shaped my decision making which has led me to riding my motorbike round the world.

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Now, this is not a post where I unload all my past on to you but it is a start. I set out to share my journey with you all. But I started feeling like I was being very false at times and hiding behind my Instagram and Facebook accounts that show all the wonderful things in life but really inside I was feeling somewhat different. Which is why I took myself away from social media for a while as I noticed I was getting publicly negative. It wasn't until a close friend of mine messaged me and said she couldn't sit back and watch any longer. She gave me the kick up the arse that I needed. 

I stopped posting for a while and really concentrated on trying to sort me out and think why I wasn't too happy. For me I think it was just a big mind game. The heat was not helping too. I have always struggled in the heat, on top of that I have never been great in crowds of people. Although this is something that is getting much better. As you are probably aware, Central America is a warm and sweaty region of the world and it has its fair share of people crammed into the ever closing land mass as you travel through. This was an issue for sure. Don't get me wrong I had amazing days but if I am honest I couldn't wait to get to Colombia. My excitement was getting too much. I was suffering from destination fixation and was passing through the countless border crossings, dealing with some dreadful beurocratric problems which quite frankly just doesn't make sense. 

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So now I am here in Colombia and I am happy to report that things have rapidly moved forward in the right direction. Getting on that sailing boat from Panama was just the break I needed. The four nights at sea was the most relaxed I have been in a long time. It was quite emotional at times to sit there on the boat and watch the sun set and just sit back and do nothing but watch. No internet, no more books to read, no power on the ipod, nothing. Just the sea breeze and the dwindling light of a perfect sunset. From that moment I knew things were going to change. I had to find the love for this trip again. After all, this trip for me is a trip of recovery and to sort my shit out! And at the same time have one hell of journey that I will remeber for the rest of my life.

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If you follow me on social media you will probably have noticed that I have changed my approach. I am comfortable with what I am doing now. I don't want to lie to anyone, if something was not great then I will say, but to be honest with you, I have experienced an unholy amount of amazing things on this trip, my problem was me, for which I think I have figured that out now. Just hit a bit of a wall for a while. 

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So where do I go from here. Well, mentally it's all good. Colombia is just simply incredible. It's up there with travelling through Mexico. As for the route and the rest of the trip, I don't know how that is going to turn out. But that's the exciting part for sure. I will keep pushing south until I eventually hit the tip of South America. From there my journey will be in the direction of home. The money is getting low, but I seem to be real good at keeping the costs down. My next expenditure will be getting the bike ready for winter in Patagonia. I have left it too late in the year now and I do not have the finances to wait out the winter for summer so I will have to push through. We will make it. We are both determined to finish this trip and get back to England in one piece.

I will try my hardest to get blogging again and share my story as honest as possible. There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes that I want to share as I feel I could do some good and help others to get on the road to recovery. 

Until the next time, keep safe and keep adventuring. We are not here for ever so make the most of your time. 

Aaron and Penny.

 

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